We had been told the trip would take 10 hours. It turns out that 10 hours in Cambodia is actually 14 in Vietnam, 4 of which were aimlessly driving around Ho Chi Minh City before reaching the last stop destination. My favourite part was the hour spent in a waiting area at Vietnamese immigration while our bus jockey disappeared into another room with everyone's passports... Since when does your passport get stamped to cross a border without you being there? Better yet, I'm still battling the remnants of a bronchial-sounding cold-related cough and with Swine Flu's Spanish Inquisition in Asia, I had to put a stranglehold on my lungs, esophagus and throat and breathe at half capacity to avoid overcautious quarantine. For an hour.
I think what's important is that we arrived. Only to be overwhelmed by the Vietnamese Armada, as we have taken to calling the army of motorbikes filling the streets of Saigon.
There are literally hundreds of them weaving and dashing on the roads in no discernible pattern and with little obedience of traffic lights or crosswalks. As you may expect, it is sometimes necessary to cross a road and Mehron and I then faced a terrible dilemma. We are the world's most skittish jaywalkers and Mehr has even been known to take a cab to get across Middle Eastern traffic lanes rather than cross it herself.
This put the pressure on me to determine how the locals move from block to block without multiple hospitalizations. Brendan Morrison had told me it was almost easier to close your eyes and go. I did not care for that strategy, but it's almost true! The key it turns out, is to watch for the big vehicles (cars, vans, buses, etc.) because they will hit you. Once there's a break in them and you only face the swarms of motorbikes you VERY DELIBERATELY AND AT AN EVEN STEADY PACE walk out onto the road and continue to cross at the EXACT SAME SPEED. Unlike in Canada, where you are expected to work around the cars, here the motorbikes will work around you. Usually. Be as predictable as possible and they will go around. Do not burst into a run at any time or stop part way. That will land you in an accident.
Ho Chi Minh is a really interesting city, traffic aside. It's got a lot of grittiness going on but not the gross kind. There's minimal garbage stench but some signs that it's rough around the edges. Also, for the booklovers out there, you don't go to bookshops because tiny ladies who appear to have hijacked stacks of books waiting to be reshelved at the library double their height wander the streets and restaurants bringing said stacks to you. And Vietnam has the world's thinnest buildings. I have never seen such narrow structures in my life. There will be three apartment buildings in a row the same width as a house in Ottawa.
Vietnam is also a country with the war very much alive in its consciousness. We visited the War Remnants Museum, which was a harrowing and very different perspective on the Indochina and Vietnam War. There were thousands of photos chronicling political events, battles, chemical warfare and after effects of Agent Orange on the population of Vietnam. They also had replicas of the POW prisons used by the French and the Americans, such as the tiger cages, where the descriptions of torture techniques were so graphic that we had to leave.
We also did a tour of the Viet Cong tunnels in Cu Chi, a network of over 200km of underground tunnels and bases. The army's motto was "in one hand the rifle, in the other, the plough". The entire population of Vietnam was mobilized during the war to repel the Americans; men, women and children were combatants awarded the status of "American killer Hero". This place really showed why the war was unwinnable. As we walked overground through the jungle with its puddles of mud from the rainy season and millipedes falling from trees while overhearing the gunshots from the shooting range nearby, it wasn't hard to imagine how hellish this war would have been for both sides. The forest was full of miniscule hidey-hole entries to the tunnel networks that were all but impossible to detect and certainly too small for the average American sized soldier to enter. And it would have been full of landmines and bamboo traps as well.
But our visit to Saigon wasn't all doom and gloom. On our way home from the museum, a huge rain cloud burst on us and we sought shelter from the downpour at a nearby restaurant. Or so we thought. The facts were these:
1) the only other customers were all men seated at one table
2) said other customers stared at us dumbfounded for twenty minutes as we drank water and orange juice
3) not a lot of food was on the menu for a restaurant
4) there was a massive glass cabinet with high end scotch and whiskey
5) on closer inspection, the multiple rooms I had taken to be toilets in the back hallway were marked with numbers and "VIP"
I whispered to Mehr under my breath, "Um, Mehr... I think we're in a gentlemen's establishment..." Yes, folks, we had afternoon tea at an upscale strip club by accident! To add to this event, I also mistook my 100,000 dong bills for 10,000 and almost overpaid our $3 check by $50. Thankfully the staff was honest and returned the extra money.
We put that money to good use at a fantastic hair salon where $15 got us a shampoo, cut, blowdry, massage and facial. Nice. It's so affordable to be stylish and well-groomed in Asia!
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