Just kidding. I will tell that story in due time.
We only had a week to explore and get a taste of Western Australia, which fancies itself as the ultimate Aussie experience since it is sprawling, isolated, and rugged. To be fair, it is Australia's largest and wealthiest state. It is over 1 million square miles of land and home to one of the last of the world's populations of wild camels, as well as home to the quokkas of Rottnest Island. It has a population of 1.9 million people in the entire state, 1.5 million of which live in Perth (that leaves 0.4 million sprinkled along the other 999,899 square miles of the state).
However, the activities we chose gave us the impression of it being historic, delicious, and charming. Perth was our go-to base of operations, but we didn't really ever spend a whole day in the city. I can highly recommend both Han's Cafe and Taka restaurant chains of Western Australia, which respectively serve delicious uber cheap Thai and Japanese cuisine (yes, we spend all our time and money eating in Australia. It's too yummy, we can't help it).
Aside from the good cheap eats, I will fondly remember Perth for its efficient and extensive city rail networks and the fastest moving clouds on the planet. Trains and Rains, for short.
We were totally charmed by Fremantle (which you can get to quickly and cheaply on Perth's fab rails). The main districts were all historical colonial buildings, with a surprising French influence that continues into the South West of W.A.
Our hostel was crap; we were eager not to spend a night there again. But we had amazing barramundi baguettes at a hole in the wall cafe called Sardines (and run by a hippy balding three dread-lock sporting Frenchman) that have finalized our decision to overturn salmon as our fish of choice for barramundi. Due to inclement weather, we went to a movie and if you haven't seen The Hangover, you're going to need to do so now.
Our one evening in town was spent fulfilling our persistent desire to learn more about Australia's prison convict past. Fremantle Prison did NOT disappoint.
We took the Torchlight Tour of the once largest maximum security prison in Australia and it ran the gambit from the cat o' nine tails whipping posts to the soundproof isolation cell block to the gallows room. Brilliant. At one point, they threw a body dummy off the building at us, right over Mehron's head. Fantastic. Two story highlights... a prisoner was accidentally decapitated during his hanging and his ghost is said to haunt the gallows room. Group photos taken in the room have often had a distortion over the heads of the people in the photos... spooky. Fremantle prison was also home to the escape-proof cell, expressly designed to hold Moondyne Joe. Joe had escaped from the local prison no less than four times before they moved him into Fremantle. He then escaped from Fremantle SEVEN TIMES. But not once from the escape-proof cell.
We found the Aussies of Freo (as they have nicknamed Fremantle) to be particularly friendly. I was lured into a twenty minute conversation with the informal Italian Aussie elder gentlemen's club that meets on the mall bench in front of the grocery store on Thursday afternoons. Mehr was beset by the kindest Jehovah's Witness Grannies you ever met who were adorable and encouraged us to share our pamphlet on the suffering of the world to save trees. We were also wished a good journey by several people as we passed them on the streets. Good on ya, Freo!
We also investigated Aussie buses in W.A. and wandered five hours south to Margaret River since we apparently hadn't satiated our taste for wine in Yarra Valley in Victoria. Margaret River was so named by Alfred Bussel (Bussels were a founding family of the region), after the woman he loved unrequitedly. Unrequitedly because she was his first cousin and refused to marry him. In fact, she never saw the river that was named after her! Lovely place though.
Our original plan was to do a cave and canoe tour but due to weather and the laziness of other tourists who did not fill up the tour, we were FORCED to change over to Bushtucker's Great Wineries Tour. Which by the way was awesome. From 10am to 5pm, we had a very hard day's work sampling the great wines, chocolate, cheeses and beers of the area. Margaret River is tiny but has 127 wineries. They produce 4% of Australia's wines which win 25% of the national wine awards. Pretty impressive stats, if you're a stats person.
Our tour guide extraordinaire Silvano (or the Silver Fox, as he was called by all the winery owners...) was also a master D.J. who had his bus full of tipsy patrons rocking out to Pretty Woman, That's Amore, Home Among the Gum Trees and of course, Land Down Under. First stop was Bettenay Wines. The owner was a total nutter, as Silvano informed us. The man was more than passionate about wine... he was lusting after it. The way he described his favourite Chardonnay was enough to make us shift uncomfortably around the room. Most interesting samples there were the ones made by his son, First Blush and Hot Flush, which were two versions of a fortified rose with chillis added. Next up was Knotting Hill, where Julia Roberts was married. The Aussie Julia Roberts of course, not the one you may be familiar with. Knotting Hill's Sauvignon Blanc was our favourite wine of the day in fact, which was surprising since Mehr and I are partial to reds. The chocolate and cheese factories provided needed respite from the drinking.
After lunch (we'll talk about that next), we tried the ports and liqueurs of the Grove (I had to buy the Macadamia one... it was amazing) and wrapped up our day with the famous Adinfern wines before changing pace to the Colonial Brewery.
Now about that lunch... Bushtucker prides itself on serving a variety of foods native to Australia and I will try very hard to remember everything we ate: Margaret River Factory tasty cheese, organic farms greens, kangaroo (better this time) with bush tomato chutney, rosella pesto, smoked emu, wild turkey, pumpkin loaf from Margaret River bakery, sundried tomatos, kalamata olives, kakadu plum, etc.
But most importantly, as alluded to in the title, Mehr opted in to try arguably the most authentic Australian cuisine, the WITCHETTY GRUB. His name was George and he was a sandgroper. A big white chubby worm like insect. He was from the royal line of witchetty grubs. He looked as gross as you might think.
When asked what he tasted like, Mehr said the following: "No, it is not the worst thing I've ever eaten. He tastes like pureed cashews in a latex glove."
Confession: I am in no way sorry that I passed on this 'delicacy'.
Speaking of adventurous eating, we're flying to Malaysia tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mehr has developed an interpretive dance to express her glee and excitement. I call it: The Seated Shimmy. I will leave its execution to your imaginations.
1 comment:
The seated shimmy!?! Can't you get a video up?
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